It was a good day.

I cleaned the kitchen again and the desk in the school room. I'm noticing that kitchen areas I've cleaned out and organizing are slowly being encroached with things that do NOT belong there. The cleaning went well.

I watched TV on the computer while I cleaned out the desk then I went on the computer to do some college research, and other various things.

New Music Tuesday so I checked all that out tonight, I was pretty pleased with my findings. Leeland has a new album out and I'm not a fan of theirs but I like this new CD of theirs, Love on the Move, very much. I downloaded that tonight and discovered this weeks free single is really great.

Its by an artist, Mallary Hope, she's new on the music scene I think. Her song is called Love Lives On and she IS a Country artist (which is even better in my opinion).

Its a beautiful song. A story song, and those are my favorite kinds. They dig deep and pull out the feelings you try and hide. I've watched the YouTube video of it 5 times already and I love it more each time and think wow this is so incredibly REAL. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ri9ihQsiDQ4

Story songs are real. They tell a story and its not a fairytale, No they're real stories even if the one's singing it aren't telling their own story, its still someones story. That's why I love country. It moves you.

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I'm making a ringtone of "Face Down" right now. I should have thought of it sooner but it slipped my mind.

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I talked to Asa today which is a daily thing for the most part, but today was a day where we weren't unkind at all. Ok, well EARLY today we were both a little peeved, but it wasn't with each other. We just weren't at all sympathetic with each other's peeved-ness. Then he texted me later and he was very sweet.

He texted me: "Guess what band I'm listening to"

Me: "Paramore? Skillet?" (I knew it had to be a band that was specifically significant to us)

Asa: "Our band"

Me: "Dashboard Confessional" (Thinking its either this or Skillet).

Asa: "Skillet. Dashboard Confessional is on my list of "Do Not Ever Listen to Again" music"

We agree on that.

Me: "What song?"

Asa: "It was 'Say Goodbye', now its 'Those Nights'"

We talked a bit more about that CD, Comatose. I told him I was surprised he had it on his iPhone or iPod. I can't listen to a single song on that CD without thinking about him and I know its the same way for him.

He tries to NOT think about me. I finally had to be blunt with him and tell him that he couldn't forget me no matter how much he tried. He wanted to be stubborn and a total jerk. I thought he would win that fight. He came around. I don't know what I did. Or what he decided, but he did, thank you, God.

I can't hold my breath though. Not yet. If he wants to backtrack (again) then I have to be ready to defend this because Minnesota or not, we were working on being friends. I don't care about any 1,703 (he's recalculated three times. I think he's making it further each time on purpose)miles between us. To me he might as well not be gone at all.

I do miss him though and I've told him that. He doesn't like telling me he misses me but I can read between the lines and sometimes I poke him with things until he gets ticked off and says it.

Every time its rained since he's been gone or when its rained in Minnesota, we've texted each other. We met on a night that it rained, and the majority of any time we've seen each other, its rained, been raining, or is raining. It rained...mm the day I took out the screen. Oh that's WHY I was taking out the screen. Because it was raining and I wanted to take pictures to send to him. I was successful and sent him two pictures.

He replied within five minutes: "Damn you"

I asked why,

he replied: "Because I don't want to know what I'm missing".

He loves the rain. It comforts him. Maybe that's why I comfort him so easily. Some part of his head mentally links me to rain.

That's the big link right there, he can't forget me, just because of the rain.

Other links...so many other links. I notice them more now that I know he's so far away. He does too.

He told me one day last week that: "So. Future reference, and don't get ANY ideas. But if, and that's a big IF you ever came to Minnesota, you could stay in my dorm."

Me, naive, confused, asked: "Why? How?"

He said they were co-ed allowed dorms. I laughed so hard and told him he'd better find a girlfriend so he could make use of that benefit.

Eventually I'll fly over and see him. I don't know when, but I will. He moved there. I can't say that I'll see him when he gets out of college. No, he moved there. I keep calling New Hampshire home and he keeps telling me its not his home.

That's the part of my head that can't compute that he's actually gone.

Only when its raining or it hits 12 am do I remember and realize how far away he is. Minnesota is an hour behind New England. So if I'm awake at 12 am, I'll text him and say something along the lines of, "Oh its Wednesday now. OHhh, wait nope not you yet!"

I'm such a brat with him.

Its now 12 am here, so I'll text him in a few minutes with my usual gleeful comment. He doesn't like being an hour behind. Its throwing him off and it gives me an edge. I love it.

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Ahh, I should get offline. This was a good day. The first in about 5 days. I'm praying the good days continue.

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Four days until we leave for Disney World.

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I really wish I could see Sean before we go. I told him if it was over two weeks before we saw each other that would be ok. Not something I wanted, but I could suck it up. Its been 2 weeks and 2 days. Is that horrible I'm keeping count? Its just my mental thing with details.

I don't know that I'll be able to though. Or actually, will he be able to see me, and want to see me. I don't know.

I know that I miss him.

I miss him.

Maybe I'll text him and ask how their show at the Sad Cafe went tonight. Maybe I won't. He says he loves when I talk but I feel like I should just shut up sometimes. And then I hate not talking to him, even when he doesn't reply because I know chances are I'm still evoking a smile with whatever random ridiculous thing I'm saying.

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Ok then, I'm off!

Some days....just get under your skin.

• Mine started with waking up before my alarm which I never appreciate.
• Then I was texting someone who was not cooperating with my queries.
• Sophie and Mumma come to my room and tell me that Sophie's friend Becki, oh and Meghan are all coming over. Meghan lives up the street, Becki somewhere else not in Pelham. What this means to me is my house gets noisy. It means I cannot walk around in my house wearing glasses and pjs. I COULD but I don't want to, I don't feel comfortable doing that (Actually, I could if it was Meghan. Pretty much no one else).
• I was bored and decided to see the mileage from my house to Nashua Community College (a place I've been considering). It was 9.6 or something.
• I thought I'd find out about Salem Hesser while I was already on it, 4.9 miles.
• I decided to call Hesser and see if I could get some information about the school (ignore the fact that a year ago I was accepted into the Nashua branch of this school and ended up saying no because I thought college just wasn't going to happen).
• I made an appointment for Monday to talk to a nice sounding lady named Cynthia from Admissions who would talk with me, show me around, etc.
• I got some answers to my texts from this morning. Finally.
• I had a fight with my mom. Of course.
• Settled the fight.
• I did the housework I needed to do today.
• I went on the computer and started looking at Hesser stuff.
• Found something I'd want to go there for, that I should've already figured out. I love doing it.
• Mum starts looking at Hesser on her computer.
• She tells me that the program I want is only available at the Manchester Hesser - 16 miles away.
• She also says that its unlikely I'll find a job in that type of work because those jobs aren't plentiful. How does she know???
• FML!

I'm back at square one, googling colleges in the Southern New Hampshire area.

And yet again, I suddenly don't know what I want to go to college for. I don't know what the SMART thing it is to go to college for.

Why is this so difficult? If I find something I want to do, why can't I just go to school for it and do it? Why are there so many roadblocks?

I'm very frustrated.

By the Associated Press

Published July 31^st, 2009

CONCORD, N.H. — Gov. John Lynch signed a law Friday making New Hampshire the 15th state to ban text messaging while driving.

“It is clear that texting while driving poses a serious danger on our roadways. This new law sends a strong message that drivers should be attentive to the road, and those around them at all times,” Lynch said in a statement.

The law also bans typing on laptop computers or other electronic devices while driving. An exception is made for entering a name and number in a cell phone to make a call.

The state Senate killed a similar bill last year, but a trolley accident in Massachusetts blamed on the operator texting his girlfriend before the crash helped turn things around. The accident sent nearly 50 people to the hospital.

Lynch had expressed concern police would have to choose between the penalty in the law banning text messaging and a different penalty under the state’s negligent and distracted driving law. The fine for negligent driving is a minimum of $250 and a maximum of $500 for a first offense. Texting violators face a $100 fine.

Supporters had said police could easily identify offenders of texting while driving.

The state law covering negligent or distracted driving doesn’t specifically address text-messaging or typing on computers.

The texting ban takes effect Jan. 1.

Lawmakers are getting tough on texting as reports of accidents blamed on it grow more frequent.
One of the deadliest was last year in California when a commuter train engineer ran through a red signal into an oncoming freight train, killing 25 people. Federal investigators said the engineer was text messaging 22 seconds before the crash.

Fourteen other states and the District of Columbia have laws that ban the practice or that take effect this year. Other states also are considering bans. In Illinois, a bill is awaiting the governor’s signature. A number of communities also have implemented bans.

A new study by the Virginia Tech Transportation Institute concluded the collision risk was 23 times greater when drivers of heavy trucks texted while driving. Dialing a cell phone and using or reaching for an electronic device increased the collision risk about 6 times in cars and trucks, the study found.

The institute used cameras to continuously observe light vehicle drivers and truckers for more than 6 million miles.

Now, reading that off the bat, my reaction is, wow who would be that stupid?

Think about it. You're driving, you're keeping your eyes on your surroundings OUTSIDE the car, not on the little device in your hand that needs quite a bit of concentration whether you can type and not look at it or not, you're still thinking about it.

There aren't supposed to be distractions while driving!! Massachusetts banned talking on a cell phone while driving (because it is a DANGEROUS DISTRACTION), although they allow the Bluetooth gadget thing. Massachusetts also banned school-bus drivers from texting, but why the hell stop there?

New Hampshire is now the 16th state to approve and pass a law outlawing texting and driving. I've never been more proud to live here. Its the Live Free or Die state, but its not cutting in on the "free" part. Its cutting off the "die" part, but nothing has changed about freedom.

Texting while driving, talking on a phone while driving, drinking and driving, getting high and driving, all distractions, all potentially harmful even deadly distractions. And lets not forget about, eating, drinking a cup of coffee, changing the radio station or the song on your iPod. All these things change the amount of concentration and awareness you have to give to where ALL of your concentration and awareness should be. Outside the car. Watching the road, watching cars behind, in front and beside you. Watching out for something running across the road, or traffic lights, stop signs, all kinds of things that your eyes and head should be focusing on.

Everyone knows drinking and driving is so often fatal.

Believe this: Texting now takes second place in that area.

Guess what else. You aren't unique, or special, or invincible. There is nothing that makes you different from any other driver when you get behind the wheel and text.

If you drink and drive, and get caught, or worse hit someone else you aren't going to be let off the hook. Almost no one can say or think, "Ooh nothing bad will happen", if they drink and drive. There is such a thing as false bravado.

The definition?? Sure thing.

Bravado

–noun, plural -does, -dos.

a pretentious, swaggering display of courage. So false bravado (and note, the not so false bravado, definition listed above) is definitely a euphemism for being cocky, overly confident, etc. About 158 billion mobile text messages were sent in the U.S. in 2006. Think about that. Lets say mm, 10% of those texts were sent by someone operating a motor vehicle. That is 15,800,000,000 text messages sent while someone was behind the wheel. I can't even say that number. That's a whole ton of potential and probable accidents. And some of those 15,800,000,000 texts caused an accident. Accidents from someone who decided it was ok to text and drive are not an unusual occurrence. They happen, they're very real, and you could be the driver or the victim. I make it a rule not to get into a car with someone before making sure they won't text and drive with me in the car. I'll text for you, I'll call for you. If you decide you want to keep control of your phone yourself, that's fine. I think I'll get out right here.