My life is crazy-ish right now. It's been wayyy too long since I've been on here which is entirely my fault, one because I've had a brain block and had no words come to my mind, two, becasue I was stalling and procrastinating on my housework that I had to do before being allowed to place my fingers on a keyboard for any reason whatsoever, and three, my mood was too messed up, which definitely made words hard to come by.

But here I am and I have things to tell thank goodness.

• So as of September 14th, I am back on an anti-depressant. I haven't been on one since April which is amazing. Until April, I had been on an anti-depressant of some kind since I was 13. I was so happy to be one less medication, and even more so that it was the anti-depressant. But by this time, I know my body, I know my feelings and I know when something needs to change. So when I started feeling very depressed and that feeling "there's no way out", and when being awake sucks and being asleep sucks, that something's gotta give. I knew I needed to go back on an anti-depressant no matter how much I didn't want to. Now, I would never ever EVER attempt to commit suicide. One, I could never hurt my family that much. Under no circumstances would that be worth the pain they would feel. Two, I know what the Bible says about suicide and I'm not interested in losing my salvation. Three, that's so dramatic. I mean seriously. I'm currently taking 10 milligrams of Lexapro (I've been on this one before) a day, but I think the dosage is being bumped up to 15 milligrams. I feel alot better on it.
• I'm applying for jobs! I applied to Chunky's in Pelham and Pac Sun and DEB in the mall. The manager at Pac Sun, Kim, looked over my application right when I handed it in, said she would DEFINITELY call me and if she doesn't call me by this Friday at 5 p.m. that she wants me to call her at the store. I got a 5 minute mini job interview right there. It felt really good. I hope I get the job.
• Sophie and I got our new cell phones for our birthdays! Sophie chose the blue EnV 3 and I chose the red EnV 3. Daddy also let us each pick a case from the kiosk in the mall too. It was alot of fun. Mum told me after that I am "very technology savvy". Which is true, I know alot about things, and especially cell phones because I didn't want ANY trouble with them and the purchasing, etc. I knew more then Dad did, which was hard becasue he was the one in charge and I couldn't always get a word in edgewise. He's a big talker. That was a really great night, getting our new phones, which we both adore. I discovered oour phones can have cell phone charms, a feature the first EnV lacked and that I'd wanted. So I started making charms out of earring pendants, necklace pendants, charm bracelet charms, anything that I liked and wasn't tacky. Which is how alot of the charms you can buy in a store are. Tacky.
• I'm driving alot, as much as I possibly can. I hope I can go for my license soon. I need to study the book more. I hate studying. I'm awful at it. I also want to nail my parking skills and tone down my slightly cocky driving air because I know the driving instructing people look for a cautious driver. So I'm trying to learn that. I think it's called modesty and humility. My grandmother told me yesterday she thinks women in general are just not good at parking. Which of course, made me even more determined to be the best parker I can possibly be.
• I want to get my GED. I'm just not ready yet. I know that I want to go to school for journalism and auto mechanics, but if I don't have my GED I know I can't go to school. I'm going to start studying that stupid book with Mum, and hopefully Kevin too. He's getting his GED too.
• Kevin... Kevin is the boy I'm dating right now. I like him =) He's a very sweet boy. He's 19, he's 5 months older then me, and he's pretty crazy about me. I think it's going to work out. I know we're taking it slow. And I really truly mean slow this time. I've failed with slow in my past relationships, and if Kevin and I are right and this is going to turn into a relationship, we want it to be right. So we're taking it slow. Our dates have been going to Denny's, out to eat and a PHS football game, we watch House at my house (which we're going to do today!), he took me to do my errands last week, we saw the Invention of Lying (GREAT movie, filmed in my hometown, Lowell, MA in the spring of 2008!! And I'm one of the um... one people that know that, from what I've experienced) on Saturday...I'm really having a lot of fun with him. I really do like him and he is a gentleman which I'm including here for my mom and Mia's benefit.
• I'm really close with Matt =) He's one of my best friends, really truly. I want to be 90 and 92 (I'm older) and in an old peoples home together. He's the best. I can and do, talk with him all day long. I have so many memorable quotes and conversations, in my phone, e-mailed to me, on facebook... I love that guy.