fo the ppl runnin' their damn mouths and the ppl that dunno who'da believe

People talk. A whole freaking lot.
I've learned never to lie about who I am (cuz really, why should I?) so when I hear the things people are saying, after the initial shock wears off, I sort of feel like laughing. I get that you want to tear me down, but really now, c'mon. 

Sometimes the truth is worse then the fiction that's spreading like a disease, and if I'm actually telling you something worse then what you've been hearing, why would you think I'm lying? I could just go along with it cuz its better than what's truth. but I'm not going along with someone else's versions of my life. 

I don't care what people think, but I do care when what they think changes the way you look at me.

In a nutshell, if I didn't tell you then it isn't true and if you aren't sure then get the hell ova here and ask me yoself! 
I'm tired of people putting themselves in my business like they think I don't know they all wanna see me break. Trying to make me look like a fool but all you've done is make a fool out of yourself.

I respect the person I am and no matter how much my life has sucked (and oh it has), it helped shape me into who I am today and I'll be damned if someone tries to rewrite my history.

Where were you the moment the twin towers fell? I know where I was. 
Cuz unless you've started living in my head and living my life for me (ooh did you learn to time-travel?!), then you have no idea where the hell I've been, what I've done, the exact words I've said and how much I can love someone.

You haven't walked in my shoes, so don't act like you did, talking all crazy. 
The longer you talk, the stronger I become. This game you're playing with MY life, the more lies you tell, the harder it's gonna be when you lose. Cuz I've already won this game. 
It's my life. My history, my past, my present, my future. 

it's not about you. it's about me.
enjoy the reality check.

Hmm I've overused "crazy life"....

I've said that life is crazy is the titles of two recent blog posts. I'm going to discontinue with that because that tells me I need to find a balance to my chaos. Which I already knew.

*delete* crazy life!

Life is crazy

Yep. Life is crazy right now. And in general actually. The current job is immensely stressful and I might be juggling two jobs pretty soon. We shall see. Only God knows what the near future holds for me. I've been torn up about a lot of things lately and I'm not sure if the choices I'm making are all that wise, but I'm trying and I'm trying to be happy. I'm so grateful to have the few friends that I have right now because I would be lost without them. Well I just wanted to stop in and leave a quick note. It's been a month and I'm just so busy. Oh, I finally got my room cleaned up : )

And last but not least, my favorite holiday:

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!

Jung personality test

INFJ - "Author". Strong drive and enjoyment to help others. Complex personality. 1.5% of total population.

Take Free Jung Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

I'm going to confuse you. I'm going to use weird words and then use normal ones in wacky sounding sentences.

~I talk to inanimate objects, form real relationships with cars, and usually have some sort of a to-do list for every day.
~I'm always cold. If hoodies and sweaters were attractive 100% of the time, that's all you'd see me in.
~I love kids. I want 8. If you met me, you'd think I'm insane. Some words frequently used to describe me: short, tiny, petite, midget, little person, (and) little munchkin. Getting the picture?

~I'm a fan of crazy. I think there's boring-crazy, good-crazy and bad-crazy.

~I'm a Christian. I live for He who died to save my life and nothing can ever tear us apart. He is with me wherever I go, so why should I fear? I live by Jeremiah 29:11 (among other wonderful words).

~I'm Pro-Life. I believe life begins from conception and that abortion is murder. I won't condemn or judge those who have had an abortion. That's just plain stupid. I only want to talk to you and be there if you need someone.

crazy life

I'm so busy! I'm working or sleeping or at work (not working) or random little things. I question that I might be working my young life away but it seems to be my only option right now and to be honest, it keeps me sane.

I'm off one of my meds (might have mentioned this already, will keep it short), as of October and I just started decreasing another. granted, February isn't necessarily the best time of year to do it, but I'm stable. I just have to make sure my mind doesn't trick me into thinking I'm THAT much better. I long to be free from the chains of multiple prescriptions and the cost and just the feeling that sometimes goes with them. but I am more thankful that I live in a time and place that allows me to have these things. I'm alive today because of my mom, my medical access and my Lord Jesus. my liferafts, keeping me from going under or pulling me up when I've gone down.

Flipsyde "Happy Birthday"

(Click to go to the video on YouTube!)

FLIPSYDE LYRICS

"Happy Birthday"

Happy Birthday...so make a wish

[Verse 1:]

Please accept my apologies, wonder what would have been

Would you've been a little angel or an angel of sin?

Tom-boy running around, hanging with all the guys.

Or a little tough boy with beautiful brown eyes?

I payed for the murder before they determined the sex

Choosing our life over your life meant your death

And you never got a chance to even open your eyes

Sometimes I wonder as a fetus if you fought for your life?

Would you have been a little genius in love with math?

Would you have played in your school clothes and made me mad?

Would you have been a little rapper like your papa the Piper?

Would you have made me quit smokin' by finding one of my lighters?

I wonder about your skin tone and shape of your nose?

And the way you would have laughed and talked fast or slow?

Think about it every year, so I picked up a pen

Happy birthday, love you whoever you woulda been

Happy birthday...

[Chorus:]

All I thought was a dream (make a wish)

Was as real as it seemed (happy birthday)

All I thought was a dream (make a wish)

Was as real as it seemed

I made a mistake!

[Verse 2:]

I've got a million excuses to why you died

Bet the people got their own reasons for homicide

Who's to say it woulda worked, and who's to say it wouldn't have?

I was young and strugglin' but old enough to be your dad

The fear of being a father has never disappeared

Pondering frequently while I'm zippin' on my beer

My vision of a family was artificial and fake

So when it came time to create I made a mistake

Now you've got a little brother maybe he's really you?

Maybe you really forgave us knowin' we was confused?

Maybe every time that he smiles it's you proudly knowin'

that your father's doin' the right thing now?

I never tell a woman what to do with her body

But if she don't love children then we can't party

Think about it every year, so I picked up a pen

Happy birthday, love you whoever you woulda been

Happy birthday...

[Chorus:]

All I thought was a dream (make a wish)

Was as real as it seemed (happy birthday)

All I thought was a dream (yeah, make a wish)

Was as real as it seemed

I made a mistake!

And from the heavens to the womb to the heavens again

From the endin' to the endin', never got to begin

Maybe one day we could meet face to face?

In a place without time and space

Happy birthday...

From the heavens to the womb to the heavens again

From the endin' to the endin', never got to begin

Maybe one day we could meet face to face?

In a place without time and space

Happy birthday...

[Chorus:]

All I thought was a dream (make a wish)

Was as real as it seemed (happy birthday)

All I thought was a dream (make a wish)

Was as real as it seemed

I made a mistake...!

FLIPSYDE LYRICS

[www.AZLyrics.com]

Pro-Life Day of Silence

Pro-Life Day of Silence 2010

I need to go to bed....

I honestly wanted to write more tonight, but it's almost 4 am and I have a doctors appointment at 9:30. I think I have an ear infection.
I won't forget my blog though. I have much more to write.

I'll make a list of what I still need to write on. I love lists.
 

• College! Changed some things around in that department.
• My car <3 haha, I'll have to upload a picture of her* back bumper. It's very eye-catching. DEFINITELY makes a statement.
• My family.
• My friends, the mostly nonexistent ones.
• My social life, which is oddly a bit more existent than my friends.
• Soulfest 2010 with Sophie!! What a great day that was.
• and other random things I'm sure will pop into my head eventually.

*Her name is Ziva. and I really do use the feminine pronouns (shoot, are those pronouns?) and occasionally talk directly to her. I'm a unique individual, leave me alone.

Papa Gino's Part 1.

Remember that new job? I've been there for 2 and a half months now and I really truly love it. It's at Papa Gino's and I am officially a grill cook. I'm trained in almost all of the other areas (except the pizza bench! but someday...) and I honestly do enjoy working. I like going to work and I like the people there.

In my first 2 weeks I was trained on the grill side and the telephones. Gasp. I was scared. Very scared. I hate the phone. I stutter and stammer and get nervous and go into a real tizzy over it (Okay, so I added some dramatic effects). I listened in on about 10 delivery/take out orders, practiced with the computer in the Training 101 mode and then it was my turn. Eeeek. I would guess that someone had to rescue me and the poor guest on the other end at least a dozen times before I got even half the hang of it.
But somehow, I did finally grasp the concept of the phone and the computers. There's a saying "He/she took to it like a fish to water." The meaning of it obvious so I won't try to explain. That was me with the phones and the computers.

The higher-ups implemented this "test call" thing a while ago. I'm sure it's been done many times in the past before I was there, but to my newbie knowledge a new round of test calls started several weeks ago.
It almost sounds self-explanatory doesn't it? The idea is that people from the corporate offices or possibly some willing guests (sorta like a secret shopper thing) call the restaurants and place an order for take-out and they test the team member on their skills. Politeness, helpfulness, all that, but also something just as important: Upselling-. What is up-selling?
Example A:
Guest: I'd like a large pepperoni pizza.
Okay, now me as the team member on the phone has a few options for up-selling.
1: Would you like extra cheese? (Easiest question ever, and really, who doesn't want some more cheese?)
2. Would you like to make that an extra large pizza? (Ahem, it's 14 inches versus 17 inches!)
3. Would you like to make that a PapaRoni pizza? (The PapaRoni is in our speciality pizza menu. It's 50% MORE cheese and pepperoni.)

I like to be helpful. I actually will go out of my way to be helpful even to the point where I'm doing too many things at once. Sweetly asking a guest if they'd like something else to make their meal more delicious and special even in a small way makes me feel helpful.

All of the phone calls are recorded and all the phone calls that were test calls are played back for the GM's, etc. I remember having three test calls. All three of them, I aced it. Passed with flying colors, all 100% well done. I actually like getting the phone now because of the test calls and the fact I like up-selling now. Weird right? It's good. I love it.

I'm very happy that I've become this skilled in it, considering how worried I was in the beginning.

Papa Gino's - Part 1

Well...The Celtics lost. Fyi.

That's pathetic. I haven't written a word since June freaking 4th. That's sad. Alright. I promise, everyone (or no one at this point, realllyyy sorry) I'll do my best not to have such long and lengthy (oh hey, same thing) lapses in my blogging's again. Ever.

So the Celtics lost. It was a beautiful game that was tough for both sides to watch (never mind actually play) and the general consensus when all was said and done and Kobe Bryant was bathed in sweat, tears and champagne, clutching his championship ring like a life raft...both teams played well. It was a good game to watch and both teams really did a great job. The End....until this year!!!!

Disney World was interesting. I'm glad that I went but I learned a few things (and I think my mom did too).

1) Florida in the months of October to April is intolerable. I vowed to never visit FL in that time frame ever, ever again. And just to be safe, I'm going with November to March. It was just soooo hot and humid.

2) I was emotionally more stable than when we went at the end of last summer, but I'm not quite stable enough yet. I did really well, better than I thought I would and probably my mom too, but it was very hard for me, especially as the week wore on. I broke down a few times and it sucked.

3) I can handle plane rides as long as I take something to relax me about a half hour before getting on the plane. It was a genius idea that we came up with and it helped greatly. I won't forget that.

Celtics

Oh yes, the Celtics made it to the NBA Finals! They're playing the LA Lakers, yet again. They lost game 1 to the Lakers last night. It was not good. I was cringing. I hope they kick it into gear like they did when they squashed the Orlando (Not so) Magic last week. I'm very excited about this.

It's been an interesting week

So, I have a job. I work at Papa Gino's and finally my dream of being a grill cook (screw you, Ruby Tuesday) has come true. I really like it. I love going to work. I can't even describe it. I'm not going to try yet.

One night after work I was in my car getting ready to go home and my feet were tired. I took off my shoes and socks and decided to drive home sans them. It was like a guilty pleasure I think. I don't know if it's wrong or a bad idea, but it's fun and I like it. I'm not sure what my mom would have to say about this.

I'm no longer going to mention BP. It's been 47 days. I can't think about it anymore.

I got lost this week. Horribly, ridiculously, embarrassingly lost. That might be a story for another time considering it would be very, very long.

I'm making an effort to relax as a driver. I can be very tense and nervous and it makes my driving very jerky and makes me think I'm not as good a driver as I actually am. I'm trying to relax and make my movements fluid and easy and just let it come to me. I also remembered the reason my gas pedal seems to stick or jerk to me. It's a sports car. It has a different engine than the Rav. Duh. I was told this the day I got the car, but I'd forgotten. I felt better about that too because I was able to handle it better, instead of feeling like I would stop and go repeatedly.

I went out with my grandmother yesterday (she loves being driven around. It's cute) and we had a very nice time. I found a sundress. I'm very happy with it. It was in JCPenney's and I'd seen it there before when Sophie and I went to the mall a few weeks ago. I really can't believe that I found one. It's such a good feeling. I'm going to upload a picture I um, took from JCPenney.com.

Today is my second day off work and I'm enjoying it thus far. I need to do laundry and clean my room, and some chores around the house. We'll see what I get done.

The sky keeps going back and forth between sunshine and dark clouds. I think we're going to have a repeat of yesterday. Sun, huge random storm, sun, more ominous clouds. Oh my.

It's so pretty :)

Breaking News:
1. I GOT A JOB!!!
2. BP sucks. Their "top kill" idea failed miserably and publically.
3. Tomorrow is Memorial Day.
4. And I must write later.

22 million gallons of hell

P.S., this oil spill is now estimated to be twice the size as the Exxon Valdez oil tanker explosion in 1989, that released 11 million gallons of crude into the Atlantic, in Alaska.

11 million gallons times 2 = we're screwed.

Update on Gulf of Mexico Oil Spill, May 28, 2010

FRIDAY, 28 MAY 2010 07:34
GULF COAST--(ENEWSPF)--May 28, 2010.  BP today provided an update on developments in the response to the MC252 oil well incident in the Gulf of Mexico 

Subsea Source Control and Containment

Subsea efforts continue to focus on progressing steps to stop the flow of oil from the well through interventions via the failed Deepwater Horizon blow out preventer (BOP), and to collect the flow of oil from the leak points. These efforts are being carried out in conjunction with industry experts and governmental authorities.

Operations on the top kill procedure continue. Heavy drilling fluids were pumped under pressure into the BOP starting May 26 at 1300CDT, and top kill operations continue through 2400CDT on May 27. It is estimated that the full top kill procedure could extend for another 24 to 48 hours.

If the well were successfully 'killed', it is expected that cementing operations would then follow. The top kill procedure has never before been attempted at these depths and its ultimate success is uncertain.

In parallel with the ongoing top kill operation, preparations have been made for the possible deployment of the lower marine riser package (LMRP) cap containment system.

Deployment would first involve removing the damaged riser from the top of the failed BOP to leave a cleanly-cut pipe at the top of the BOP's LMRP. The cap, a containment device with a sealing grommet, will be connected to a riser from the Discoverer Enterprise drillship, 5,000 feet above on the surface, and placed over the LMRP with the intention of capturing most of the oil and gas flowing from the well.

The LMRP cap is already deployed alongside the BOP in readiness for potential deployment. If it is decided to deploy this option, this would be expected to take some three to four days.

In addition to these steps, planning is being advanced for deploying, if necessary, a second BOP on top of the original failed BOP.

Drilling of two relief wells began on May 2 and May 16. It is estimated that each of these wells will take three months to complete from the commencement of drilling.

Surface Spill Response and Containment

Work continues to collect and disperse oil that has reached the surface of the sea, to protect the shoreline of the Gulf of Mexico, and to collect and clean up any oil that has reached shore.

Almost 1,300 vessels are now involved in the response effort, including skimmers, tugs, barges and recovery vessels. Operations to skim oil from the surface of the water have now recovered, in total, some 274,000 barrels (11.5 million gallons) of oily liquid.

The total length of containment boom deployed as part of efforts to prevent oil reaching the coast is now almost 1.9 million feet, and an additional 1.25 million feet of sorbent boom has also been deployed.

Source: bp.com

<"http://www.enewspf.com/index.php/latest-news/latest-national/16657-update-on-gulf-of-mexico-oil-spill-may-28-2010"

What an exciting last three days

My contacts came Tuesday! I'm soo happy. They came Tuesday and even though I'd already put in my other contacts, I'm took them out immediately and put the new ones in. I'd forgotten how good it is to have contacts in and not be able to feel them. Shows how dreadful the other ones are. I only have one pair of them but Mum ordered more today so I hope Wal-Mart is in a timely fashion and I have them soon. I'll be very upset if I have to go back to wearing my old contacts for a while. The new ones are Acuvue Oasys for Astigmatism. They're wonderful.

Wednesday night this week I went for a drive in the thunder and lightning storm. Oh and there was an impressive amount of hail too. The view from my driveway to the backyard is incredible. Really, really beautiful. I did leave my driveway and go for a drive which was very nice, if not a bit lonely. I really don't have the gas to do that very often either.
The storm was very powerful. Our power went out at 11:45 p.m. and it wasn't back when I went to sleep at 1 something a.m.
I lit two candles in my room and set them on my floor, like a little fire. I don't like putting them on furniture because I always worry there will be something that happens to catch on fire, even if there is NOTHING near it. In the middle of my floor was a good idea. I did it again last night because it was so nice.
I went to sleep with my room smelling of Macintosh apples and lilacs. An odd candle combination to be sure, but they actually mixed nicely.

When I got home from my drive, before the power went out, I watched the last quarter of the Celtics game. The Orlando Magic beat them down. Brutally. They won 113-92, with a lead of 21 points.
There were an abundance of injuries and fouls for the Celtics. Glen Davis and Marquis Daniels left the game with concussions, Rasheed Wallace left the game with an injured back, Kendrick Perkins was ejected from the game after two technical fouls. Hopefully they're rescinded because it did become clear later in the game that they actually weren't what they'd seemed to be. The team was covered in fouls, and for some reason the Celtics were paying the most attention to  Dwight Howard and Rashard Lewis. They covered them with fouls and sent them to the free throw line enough times to give them the lead that helped them win. If the Celtics hadn't had the injuries and fouls they did, they would have had a much better chance of kicking Orlando's butt.

Tonight is the 6th game in their playoffs, and it's a home game for the Celtics. I hope they can pull it off. They lead the series 3-2, and won the first three games, with the Magic stealing the 4th and 5th. The green team has gotta win tonight!!

Oh, Tuesday was the season finale of NCIS. I haven't been able to watch it yet (a silly sister CANCELED it from recording), but that's what I plan to do right now.

I remember Wednesday now. Sophie and I got haircuts! It was really nice. Sophie had bangs added to her hair and they suit her.
Mum and I showed Julie my hair. The hair that in February I paid her a nice sum of money to bring it back to my natural hair color. She stripped the black hair out (my hair was a bright dreadful orange, very entertaining) and then added the light brown in. But something has happened in the last 8-10 weeks and I've noticed that my hair was getting very dark.
It was somehow back to the color she'd taken out of it! I hadn't done a thing to it and I was very worried because I couldn't pay her to do it all over again. Mum and I showed her my hair and poor Julie was just as confused and shocked as we were. She was standing examining my hair for 10 minutes, trying to figure it out. She said this had never happened before and she didn't know how it could have happened. She said "This is not in any of my books."
She was willing to do the stripping/dyeing process again (for a lower price this time, phew) and this time leave the stripping stuff on my hair for a longer time, and add an even lighter brown to my hair. I was under the dryer with the stripping stuff for so long, I was so hot when she finally let me up and rinsed it out.
The color is light again. I'm pleased. It's not a perfect match for my natural hair of course, but it's much much lighter and blends well with the virgin hair I have growing so far.
For the actual hair cut, she trimmed it and then took about three fourths of an inch off the longest under part of my hair. I didn't like how there was a big gap between the top layers which are getting long now and the bottom part of my hair. I want my hair to be close to one length, or at least, grow out the layers evenly. What she did is very helpful because she didn't cut enough to make me feel like I had short hair again, but she brought the bottom closer to the layers. It looks good. The last thing I wanted was to feel like I had short hair, especially since we're going to Disney soon. I'm really looking forward to the sunshine because it will lighten it even more. The virgin hair I have has gotten quite a bit of sunlight and the golden blond elements of my hair are really showing, which is part of the reason she used an even lighter brown dye this time.

I'm once again happy with my hair.

Thursday was blah. I forgot to take my phone off silent, so I had no obnoxiously noisy alarms to wake me up. What does that mean? It means I sleep until my body decides to wake up. Yesterday that meant 4 p.m. And on those days, I can very easily fall asleep again. It's not a good thing.

Today is Friday and I'm up early. I was up 15 minutes before my alarm. Congratulations to me.

Some exciting news! Daddy came to my room last night to tell me that I'd been given a scholarship! How cool is that? Me, the girl with the like 1.8 GPA, was given a scholarship. It's from Mt. Pleasant, my dad's country club and it's for at least $500.00. I feel that I must specify that it's for college, because someone I told about it didn't seem to realize it was for college. Very odd in my mind. My cousin was given a scholarship too from Mt. Pleasant. There is an awards banquet (a banquet! Can you imagine?) on June 22nd and my cousin will be there too and it will be very exciting. Oh dear, I'll have to walk across a stage of some sort. All eyes on me. Ick. But so worth it. I feel honored.

In passing, I will mention that BP has still not closed the leak. They have tried their "top kill" approach involving shooting mud and cement into the still leaking from the well. They have done that, but now they've said they won't even know if it's working for another 2 days. 2 more days of oil infecting the already poisoned waters. It's been 37 days. Thirty-seven! It's just amazing to me. One of the latest press releases is that President Obama is now going to take the responsibility for this, in the area of fixing it. As far as I know, he has still not taken the blame for it. We shall see what happens.

These are two quotes I've found this week. I like them both very much.

"On the whole, human beings want to be good, but not too good and not quite all the time." -George Orwell

"Life is the real game to play. Life is the game where it matters if you win or lose. And yes, how you played the game." -Unknown.



Goodbye for now

Part 3: Drama crisis discovered, dealt with, and conquered!

It was a good day yesterday. There was a tough hour or two last night when a gossipy rumor surfaced and some serious drama could have ensued. But I fired back and was blunt about the correct story and how infuriated I was. It was a third party who didn't have the whole story, who for NO reason told a fourth party, who I had already told the short version of the story months ago, and now they wanted to know the real story. I was so angry. 

I'm proud of myself because even though I was angry and let it be known, I never insulted them. I was very clear about the real situation and how angry I was about this happening, but I never said anything mean to them. It wasn't their fault, it was the other person's, but I did say that you should have just believed me the first time. I was hurt. 

I'd still like to give the person who caused that fiasco a piece of my mind. I'm still mad at them. There was no need for it to happen and it seems like it was a vengeful lashing out action. The real story involves a relationship between me and someone else. I made the mistake of telling the troublemaker something months ago about it and all I gave was a summary and why the relationship eventually ended. It was for another reason entirely and had nothing to do with the first part. I told the fourth party involved the story of why the relationship ended. 

Yesterday I found out that the third party had told the fourth party why the relationship had ended and their story was a embellished version of the first thing. I was so angry. That had had nothing to do with it and I confirmed that when I asked the other person in the relationship if they'd been honest with me as to why they'd ended it. 

I'd never had a moments doubt about it and I still didn't yesterday. They confirmed the truth and were just as mad as me about the sudden and unnecessary drama. It was infuriating. Just thinking about it I want to tear the second party's hair out. I want to yell at them. It was just so wrong. Hurtful. 

Thank God, It's over now. As the second party said "It's over. We stomped it out". Yes, we did. It was a sudden brushfire from someone with a penchant for arson and we kicked that fire's butt. 

We were a good team. Sometimes I wish we still were. Ahh, well. We're still friends and that is more than enough for me. I would have been devastated if the friendship wasn't strong enough to survive the break up. 

Well I can't dwell on that any longer. I really would get too worked up about it. 

I'm off now to work on my binders. It's calming. I really like it. 

Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. -John 14:27

What wonderful words those are.

Part 2

Also yesterday, several more things happened, most of them happy things. 

Dad said to me before church that he was still able to get me a plane ticket for a good price if I wanted to go to Disney. Miracles of miracles, I thought about it and I said yes. I've had two different dreams about the situation, one is that I'm home alone for a week and the other is that I went with them. Neither dream was a good one and I think I underestimated how lonely I would be. I can see myself wandering the house bored out of my mind. It's not like I have friends I could make plans with all week. So I'm going to Disney World! Wish me luck. I think I'm taking a leap of faith in myself and my mental health. Last year's two vacations (the second being Disney World) were very hard for me. I was emotionally high-strung and I still don't know how to explain how I felt or why I felt that way. That made me feel even worse. It's an awful feeling to not have the words to say what you feel. This time I pray will be better. We're staying at a much nicer resort, the trip is longer, we have more options and I think the freedom I had the last time that I didn't like will be a plus this time. I've grown so much since then. Then I hadn't graduated, gotten my license, hadn't had a job, hadn't had anything going for me. Now I've graduated, registered for college classes, gotten my license, gotten a car and had a job that I worked full time for 50 hours a week. I feel like a stronger person as a whole even though I will be honest and say that I have been more emotionally fragile this month than is usual for me.

I'm hoping and praying it goes well, that I stay calm and enjoy myself and that I don't cause problems for my family if my mood plummets.

I had a wonderful afternoon with my Grandmother! We went shopping and we had so much fun. It was really enjoyable and it was a dearly needed boost to my happiness. I was the driver which was so nice. She said that she actually loves being driven places because she sees things as a passenger that she doesn't see 

when she's the driver. I understand that and I'm thrilled to be the driver. I've been a passenger for 19 years. I have no interest in being one again any time soon. 

Dad gave me a wonderful surprise because he said he would pay my first car payment so that I could have that money to buy things I would need for Disney and that my spending money would be included in that. That's fine because I'm not big on the trinkets down there anyway. I'm selective and smart when I shop. As of right now, I want a new mug. A big one. Sophie brought home two mugs and a tea cup on our last trip. AND a giant box of tea. It was SO hard squishing them into the big duffel bag Sophie and I were sharing. 

We went to Target, the mall and Best Buy. I got everything on my list except for one thing, the sackpack-style bag that Dad wants us to have for the parks. They're small, simple and will work for each of us to have one or something similar. He's right. I picked one at Olympia Sports yesterday but I didn't buy it because Grandy said she would check Kohls to see if they had any. They didn't, so I think I'll try to go back to the mall today and get it. I want to get a pedometer too. I'm not sure if it's worth the $10.99 price tag. Well, actually it is, but I don't know how comfortable I feel spending the money on it now when I don't really have a need for it. I'm going to plan to not get it. No impulse buys. 

Okay, now part 3. And I promise there's no part 4!

Part 1 about the last few days

I'm listening to Casting Crowns "Until the Whole World Hears". It helps that it's on my blog. I just opened a new window and I'm playing the video. Win!

I have to play catch up right now because I haven't written about the things happening for several days. I really shouldn't do that. I end up having so much to write about and I either don't remember it all or I just have very long posts. That was the whole reason I widened the post box on my blog so that really long posts wouldn't look as long and it's much easier to read this way.

I feel silly for looking at my twitter page, but looking at the "tweets" helps me be exact about things I did and when. My emergency back up when I can't quite remember something.

I did not see Robin Hood with Sophie. It was very disappointing and I really hope to see it soon. I've given up on the Losers because it's playing in so few theaters and at inconvenient times. It's not special enough to put a lot of effort into it.
I want to see Robin Hood with Sophie ASAP. There was a bit of a scuffle about it yesterday because it somehow slipped her mind that it was supposed to be a sister thing and that yes, she had said she would see it with me first. She forgot and was wanting to see it with a friend. Thankfully, Mumma was on my side and I did try to work it out with Sophie so that the three of us could go, but my day wasn't going to work like that and I put my foot down and said, sorry you can't see Robin Hood without me. In the end, she and her friend went out for ice cream so I heard.

Thursday and Friday there were some home schooled kids and their teacher mom's here for state testing. Because we live in a state that requires the testing at the end of every school year. They spread it out over two days and it works out as a nice hang out time for them too. Sophie tested, along with six other kids. Miss Sonya and Miss Nadine were the test administrators, with Miss Nadine having the three young ones and Miss Sonya with the four teenagers (or almost teenagers). My mom had the little little ones. There were four. Three boys and a little tiny 2 year old girl who was astonishingly talkative and had impressive skills for such a young one. She's adorable. The non-testing children and my mom were outside when the testing was happening because there needed to be the utmost silence in the house. I wandered around, I was in my room sometimes, I was outside with the little kids, I did errands. It was a pleasant two days for me.

I succeeded in getting gas at Prime on Friday. I had surveyed the gas station on Thursday and couldn't figure out how to line up with the side I needed. I couldn't attempt to back into the spot and I'm not adept enough at it to even think of it. My gas tank door thingy is on the right side of my car. It's very annoying because I can't just pull straight in to a station and I was worried it wasn't okay to face your car any which way you wanted. But my casing the joint helped me see that I could do that. I was stubborn about wanting to get gas at Prime because the price is so good. It's the lowest price around and it beats the second lowest by 14 cents. That's a big difference. It was a good feeling to only be paying $2.73 a gallon when the last time I'd gotten gas I'd paid $2.87. Yuck. No thank you.

Sophie taught be this trick a while ago for dry skin. We both have a problem with it and like to find new things that help. The newest and most effective one is baby oil. Slather yourself with it at the end of your shower, carefully pat dry and then apply the usually body lotion. It's genius. And I don't feel greasy or oily at all which I was concerned about before I tried it. The other day though, I accidentally got some in my eye. I was already wearing my contacts too. It's impossible to wash a contact free of baby oil. I was blinking that eye for a good hour at least because of the blurriness of the oil. Sigh. It was a silly moment.

Saturday I tackled my binders. I have a lot of magazine subscriptions and because I worked full time all winter, I read them when I could but I couldn't take the time to rip out the pages I wanted and put them in the binders. I had five different magazines and I had four issues of each one. That's 20 magazines. I ran out of plastic page protectors Sunday morning. I got three magazines and 12 issues done and I have 8 more to go. One of them I have to finish reading still and the other one I'm waiting for it to come in the mail. I feel much better without that huge stack of magazines looking at me reproachfully for letting them sit there for so long. I spent a lot of time working on them last night too and I plan to finish the 7 I have today.

I'll end this post here and start the second one. The longer a post is the more overwhelming it is to read. I understand that completely.