Part 2

Also yesterday, several more things happened, most of them happy things. 

Dad said to me before church that he was still able to get me a plane ticket for a good price if I wanted to go to Disney. Miracles of miracles, I thought about it and I said yes. I've had two different dreams about the situation, one is that I'm home alone for a week and the other is that I went with them. Neither dream was a good one and I think I underestimated how lonely I would be. I can see myself wandering the house bored out of my mind. It's not like I have friends I could make plans with all week. So I'm going to Disney World! Wish me luck. I think I'm taking a leap of faith in myself and my mental health. Last year's two vacations (the second being Disney World) were very hard for me. I was emotionally high-strung and I still don't know how to explain how I felt or why I felt that way. That made me feel even worse. It's an awful feeling to not have the words to say what you feel. This time I pray will be better. We're staying at a much nicer resort, the trip is longer, we have more options and I think the freedom I had the last time that I didn't like will be a plus this time. I've grown so much since then. Then I hadn't graduated, gotten my license, hadn't had a job, hadn't had anything going for me. Now I've graduated, registered for college classes, gotten my license, gotten a car and had a job that I worked full time for 50 hours a week. I feel like a stronger person as a whole even though I will be honest and say that I have been more emotionally fragile this month than is usual for me.

I'm hoping and praying it goes well, that I stay calm and enjoy myself and that I don't cause problems for my family if my mood plummets.

I had a wonderful afternoon with my Grandmother! We went shopping and we had so much fun. It was really enjoyable and it was a dearly needed boost to my happiness. I was the driver which was so nice. She said that she actually loves being driven places because she sees things as a passenger that she doesn't see 

when she's the driver. I understand that and I'm thrilled to be the driver. I've been a passenger for 19 years. I have no interest in being one again any time soon. 

Dad gave me a wonderful surprise because he said he would pay my first car payment so that I could have that money to buy things I would need for Disney and that my spending money would be included in that. That's fine because I'm not big on the trinkets down there anyway. I'm selective and smart when I shop. As of right now, I want a new mug. A big one. Sophie brought home two mugs and a tea cup on our last trip. AND a giant box of tea. It was SO hard squishing them into the big duffel bag Sophie and I were sharing. 

We went to Target, the mall and Best Buy. I got everything on my list except for one thing, the sackpack-style bag that Dad wants us to have for the parks. They're small, simple and will work for each of us to have one or something similar. He's right. I picked one at Olympia Sports yesterday but I didn't buy it because Grandy said she would check Kohls to see if they had any. They didn't, so I think I'll try to go back to the mall today and get it. I want to get a pedometer too. I'm not sure if it's worth the $10.99 price tag. Well, actually it is, but I don't know how comfortable I feel spending the money on it now when I don't really have a need for it. I'm going to plan to not get it. No impulse buys. 

Okay, now part 3. And I promise there's no part 4!