And something from even further back, from when I worked at Ruby Tuesday still. I wrote this March 19th. This is special to me.

"I got a compliment yesterday. It was from a blond-haired, bright blue-eyed, rosy round cheeked, still not quite sure of her legs, 2-year-old little girl. She could not have been anymore than two.
She and her mom and her older sister had been at Ruby’s for lunch and now they were leaving. She was telling me goodbye as she walked to the host stand in this little bitty voice that I couldn’t completely understand. She waved her one free hand and grinned at me. She said something I couldn’t understand and so I replied “Ok,” because what are you going to say to a child that small? “I’m sorry, would you repeat that?” Haaa. Her mother laughed and interpreted for me. “She said ‘you’re pretty’” I nearly welled up with tears. I said thank you to her.
After they left I spent the rest of my shift pondering compliments and what they mean to people and the sincerity, or in some cases, insincerity of them.
I realized that a compliment (or insult) from a child is ALWAYS meant sincerely. They see with the purest eyes and say exactly what they are seeing or feeling.
Example, if a little boy or girl is having a temper tantrum, they’re liable to say something along the lines of …”you’re ugly, I hate you, etc”. And its not that you’re ugly or that they hate you at all it’s that at that moment their gaze is clouded with anger. Adults aren’t likely to insult one another with comments such as “you’re ugly” when they’re angry although “I hate you” might come up. An adult’s gaze isn’t nearly as pure as a child’s but it is more reasonable.
When considering a child-like viewpoint on physical appearance, temperament, and all other factors it makes perfect sense that a compliment from one is true. Their eyes are young, unblinded by the world thus far and just PURE in the highest form.
I became emotional because I realized that no matter how many guys could tell me that I’m pretty, I might wonder if they have an ulterior motive. When a sweet toddler tells me I’m pretty, I believe it wholeheartedly.
If a girlfriend tells me I’m pretty (that day or in general), I glow inside (and out) because I know she truly means it, because yes she does love me, but she’s also not afraid to tell me some days if I look like shit that day or really need to go change my shirt. I trust their opinions of me and my appearance, temperament, etc.
My mother, well while I love her opinion, I do think it’s biased. A mother’s love should be unconditional, never ending, never failing, and patient. A mother is programmed to think her children are wonderful, even perfect, although most parents realize that, no their child is far from perfect. I’m 18, but I will run to my mama if my world falls at my feet or I just need to be HELD for a while. I do have days where she feels like I’m attached by a string because I just follow her around the house all day, unable to be alone and knowing that she’s going to be my best choice forever. When she tells me I look beautiful, pretty, who knows, I usually say thank you, but try to brush it off, or feel a bit uncomfortable because while I know how much she really means it and believes it, its hard to accept because I know she sees all of me, every bit of me and that her love is blind and yet crystal clear. She knows ALL my flaws. I think…hey Mom??
My sisters’ I can count on for a totally honest opinion. Grace is still young enough to be pure in her impressions, and Sophie is helpful…sometimes. A lot of the time she is indecisive (like her older sister, moi) and really isn’t at all helpful.
My dad’s opinion is pretty honest. That one I’m unsure of because I know he and I are the two in the family who rub against each other like flint against a stone. What’s the outcome of that? Sparks, fire, all that. We get along so much better now, but it’s still finicky I guess you could say. I finished school last year, turned 18 in October and our relationship really settled. I think a lot of the pressure was suddenly gone because I was a legal adult and all reasons we’d previously had for fighting and confrontation and yelling were really just gone. We still have disagreements, but I don’t think we’ve had a fight where we’ve really gotten mad and we’ve held grudges and been silent to each other for a week since before my birthday. I know part of this wonderful change is that my teenage, hormone, angst-filled years finally ended. I’m so glad I’m 18 and no longer having those awful ups and downs that I got the joys of from age 12 to 17. Word but, those years were really not fun.
When a guy tells me I’m pretty I either feel like he’s trying to get something or in somewhere (ahem, boys) and I don’t trust them. Spoiler Warning, I have trust issues. I either trust way too easily or get fooled and hurt or I don’t trust at all and still get fooled and hurt.
Anyway, children. They see you for exactly what you are. They don’t hesitate to tell you something whether kind or cruel and don’t see the harm in saying anything of the latter. That babe-child yesterday, I could’ve just scooped her up and cuddled her even before she said that to me. I have a weakness for the little people.
And today I was pretty confident in my appearance today although I was obsessing slightly over my shirt and my stomach because honestly, I know what I eat and what it’s probably doing to me, and I would LOVE to exercise but how do I find the time? I don’t want to go alone either! I hate doing things alone other then shop apparently.
Wow, way to get off track Molls. Haha hey, that’s just how I DO I guess. So today I felt good about myself. Hearing that compliment made my day.
It made me realize that while compliments are the bomb, especially from people you know mean it and are telling you it as a fact, a statement, a true thing, that I need to be more self-sufficient than that and learn to be confident even though I don’t always get compliments.
I’m on a mission now. To gain that self-confidence, that self-esteem.
I was told by a regular customer at Ruby’s that I have “It”. That “It” that no one can name or describe that some people just have. The “It” that makes some people stand out from the rest, that different little special thing. I’m not showing off, ‘cause I never would’ve said that, I’m just (trying) describing the “It”. So I’m thinking ok I have the It but I need more than that. I need to be all I can be inside myself and outside it too, but the inside has to show through to the outside. People at work always notice how happy I am, even just to be at work. A few times Frankie has asked me if I’ve gotten laid the night before because I’m just so glowy. Of course, I say no, but it’s hard for them to believe that because I can feel my face and I think my eyes, my face, my smile are literally shining with this happiness I’ve got inside of me.
It’s apparently unusual, a phenomenon, definitely not the norm for Ruby Tuesday. But it’s just me, and I LIKE it. I have days where I go into work and I want to hug just about everybody. Which is hard because I can’t because my exuberance overwhelms some people and then I feel bad and I know the looks I get saying “Wow, she’s weird/crazy/a freak/out of it/etc”.
My philosophy for a bad mood is a hug. You just hold them; squeeze them, until all that anger, and upset and hurt just flows out of them. I think anything can be cured with touch. Granted, my love language is touch but ehh, this is still my cure-all. Let’s see people this doesn’t work for…well, Frankie for starters. He gets in a bad mood and he barks at me “Stay away from me Molly I’m not in the mood” and I know he’s pissed off enough at something or someone to be jerk to me. But it sucks because I’d love to just comfort him; I love to comfort anyone and everyone. Mel is another one who you can’t hug. Mia, Kelsey, but only sometimes. Lets see people who like to be held, James, me, hmm. I’m not sure who else I know who does. Probably because I’m used to getting rejected haha. Hey, if anyone who reads this is a touch person let me know so I can hug you more frequently =)
I guess this is enough for tonight. I started writing this at 1:45 am and now its 2:47. So I’m done and I’ll post this tomorrow when I get the stupid internet card back. Hey Mom, maybe you could tell me where you put it?? That’d be awesome.
Enjoy my words everyone…"