Oh my gosh, I have missed my blog. Let's see how fast my fingers can fly, shall we?
Okay. So. Collecting thoughts.

I'm happy to say that my mental roadblock is clear again. My space that needs to be empty so that I'm able to write (coherently:), was not empty. Muddled and crowded and not one bit useful. I had to wait for the brainwaves to settle and the tangles to work themselves out.
It's been just about one month since I wrote anything of real interest.

I'm still working at the tax accounting office, and I really do enjoy it. I'm tired even more than ever now (as if that's actually possible for me!) and I try to clock in with at least 40 hours a week, with as many over that as possible.

I don't rejoice when it's time to wake up at 6 am, but I like actually being awake for the day. For so long, my own day wouldn't begin until the real one was half over. I have a system with my alarms to get me up and usually those do the trick, although every so often I'll miss the first one and then my whole morning is thrown off because I'm a zombie and will be 75% asleep for the next two hours.

Daylight savings time kicked in on Sunday, so every lost an hour of sleep, but it didn't affect most people I know until the day after or even Tuesday (today). I appreciated it for the first time this evening because at 6 when I left, the sun was still up and blazing. Before, my 6 pm leaving time would have meant I was leaving in the dark, or very near to the dark. Oh sunshine, how I have longed for you.

I'm saving for a car. I just want it now. I'm struggling with that. Patience Molly. You can be patient. Yeah, it doesn't make it easier. I try not to think about it. I know I'll just make it harder on myself when there is nothing I can do more of to make it happen any faster. I can't wait for that freedom.

I am no longer dating Matt. Truthfully, I never let myself fall for the idea it would last forever. He was pretty much my best friend before we started seeing each other and I knew that he'd be going to college and that he'd want to have fun. I'm okay with that. He's still my friend. Right now I'm keeping a space between us for the present, because I think he needs to get his life back into order and I need to make sure that when we do talk again, that both of our feelings are clear and that we're okay. Pretty much. It was good. It was wonderful. But I know that there is a guy out there who wants exactly what I want at exactly the same time. More or less.

I want to get married and have kids. School is not going to stop me. I'll go to school and be married. I'm not going to rush anything though. Considering step number one is the guy. And I want the guy to find me. I'm old-fashioned. In my head, I'm always dying to be the one to make the first move, but I believe in a guy being the leader in the relationship. I like a guy who actually does ask me out and doesn't make me wonder and wait forever. Guys need to be bold with me. I'm going to be honest with them so I appreciate when they are honest with me.

I'm going to MCC this fall. I have class placement tests on April 1st and the next steps in the process are started then I think. I hope. If I didn't think that I would want a full time job this summer and to have some fun too then I think I would have signed up to start in the spring but I need more time than that. September will come soon enough.

Sunday my family saw The Lion King on Broadway. Oh it was fantastic. Incredible. Amazing. I want to see it again someday, without a doubt. Breathtaking. I'll cherish the memories of it forever.

I'm amazed that almost half of my 19th year has already flown by. I'll be 19 and a half on April 15th (also the official end date of tax season!). The first half has just disappeared. I'll only be a teenager for 6 more months. I will not be at all sad to see my teen years leave me. They were rough. Painful. I want to move away from it and let my future, my purpose, my path all find me.

Let's roll.