(The Image We Aim For)

Oh, I bet something else is to cause. I was reading an article about an actress who shall go unnamed. She's young, 23, not new to the Hollywood scene but is just recently gaining fame and status. She is so insecure! I was honestly surprised to read the article because she was nervous, not sure what to say, not sure how to handle herself, and even talked about that and doing it in general. She has self esteem issues, a slightly lowered body image of herself, compares herself, etc.

Reading it I was thinking that she reminded me of myself. I was also thinking, oh this poor girl, this article is going to get so much criticism. She was the cover of a magazine. Women often write in and send their thoughts and feedback on articles and things talked about in it. This actress' article is going to be criticized by readers. The magazine will be criticised for putting her on the cover. She shouldn't have been put on the cover, but even more so, she shouldn't be torn to shreds because she was honest about her fears and insecurities and how she's so unsure of herself.

For once, the cover girl didn't just talk about how great her life is, or how she's overcoming things or has overcome them. Yes, women need positive role models, but those stories all sound fake to me. This young woman has neither overcome anything or learned how to cope with the filthy atmosphere she lives and works in. A place some people call Hollywood.

She is beautiful. Incredibly beautiful. She has a voice that makes me jealous its so pure and beautiful when she sings. Mentally some part of me has said before Oh I wish I looked like her or I wish I had her voice. And people might say oh you know life isn't always that perfect for her either, but inside that's what we're all thinking. Her life is perfect. Her life is most definitely not perfect.

The standards we all force ourselves to live up to, all are visions of someone we're looking at, when that person is doing exactly what you are. Trying to live up to an image.

Don't judge a book by its cover.

Don't judge a person by the tiny peek you get of their life.

Who doesn't know how this works? Who doesn't know exactly what this feels like?

At some point, we fail when the image we want not something that is not meant for us. Whether its someone who has very light skin and is determined to have a tan like J.Lo, or someone with dark hair trying to go blond, someone wanting to weigh the same as a friend who has a totally different body type. We fail at that image we've deemed as perfect and something cracks inside and our self esteem plunges.

We feel insecure, and panicky, nervous, unsure. We mess up, we say stupid things. Its such a horrible circle. If only the images we see and want to be weren't there, or could be stopped. You see a beautiful, smiling girl and think oh wow she's got a great life. Wrong. You don't know that. She might have a great life, but then again, she might not.

You just don't know.

This girl opened up. She will be criticized for it and that's wrong. Reading it made me feel everything that I feel in that way, which contributed to my mood, but I'm realizing that the girl who everyone thinks has the perfect everything, has the same hurts I do. I like her even more for that. It makes her real.

And above everything perfect that is going to be unattainable, I want to be real. I have imperfections and I have bad days, both physical and emotional. But to be real, you can't try and tamp them all down, you can't try to perfect it all. You can only accept and learn to live with them, learn to love them. That's the hard part. That's what I'm trying to overcome.

So thumbs up to her! She was honest and showed quite a bit of her heart with, what, a magazine.

The last thing she said that I loved was:

"I can just walk away. I know who I love."

That, ladies and gentleman, is a real woman.